Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Primary Instruction Manual
for Nominal Use
(Ver 9.0)
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Primary Instruction Manual
for Nominal Use
(Ver 9.0)
Contents:
A.) Specifications
B.) Accessories
C.) Primary Functions of Your MMF-N8
D.) Internal Operations
E.) Regular Scheduled/Unscheduled Maintenance
F.) Recommendations for Safe Usage of Your MMF-N8
G.) Warning Indicators
H.) Repair Procedures
I.) Index
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Sec. A. Specifications
Congratulations on the purchase of your new model Multifunction Man-friend
N1784, and welcome to the new wave of the future. As an owner of the newest in NT Manfriend Mainframe Technology, you are part of a close-knit and elite family. Your particular model is the N8 version and is unique and different from any other version, as is the case with every MMF produced by Adco. We at Adco strive to provide ongoing service and state of the art technology with a friendly edge. If followed closely, the instructions enclosed in this manual will allow you to continue to enjoy your Multifunction Man-friend for decades to come. Thank you for purchasing your new Multifunction Man-friend. For a list of extra physical uses for your MMF, please see the enclosed pamphlet entitled Physical Romantic Relationship Functions, complete with illustrated diagrams and helpful tips. For a list of local distributors, visit www.adco.com/mmf/spec or call 1-859-mmf-adco (1-859-663-2326)
Physical Specifications of your Multifunction Man-friend N8- Your Mulifunction
Man-friend unit is built to individual specifications. As per your specific order, your MMF has been built to be 6’3” tall and weighs 185lbs at the time of shipping and is considered to have a(n) athletic-average body build. A combination referred to as tall-dark/handsome .
Your MMF’s combination type is indicative
of the types and models of accessories available
for purchase for use with your specific MMF.
Your MMF will continue to hold these
specifications for years to come if operated
properly and treated well.
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Accessories Included:
Your Multifuntion Man-Friend comes packaged with a number of accessories already included for nominal use. These accessories are covered by the same warrantee and terms of usage as your MMF and include:
--Full function, multiseasonal wardrobe
--Job non-career low-level /temporary (Applebees server)
--Cellular phone
--Personal Effects
-wallet
- $400 cash USD/ $5,000 Student Debt
-Multiple Picture Identification
--Vehicle ’96 Grand Am (Pontiac)
Adco also offers a wide variety of other additional accessories for purchase that are not included in your MMF startup package. For details and ordering information see enclosed catalog or visit www.adco.com/mmf/access/.
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Primary Functions:
Your Multifunction Man-Friend will perform a number of primary as well as peripheral functions. Primary functions are those which will be noticeable to you as well as those around you.
Protection: Model N8 is equipped with NT Instinctive Protection processors and programmed with intermediate level protective technique training and intuitive situational awareness. Your Multifunction Man-friend will, even at the cost of it’s own well-being protect you if some situation my arise.
WARNING: Your MMF is not programmed with common sense and will not back down from an obvious “losing battle”. In the event that you MMF will inevitably fail or be damaged, it is up to you to drag him away, failure to do so may result in damage of parts/ ego.
Heating: Your MMF will put out
nearly 40,000 btu of body heat daily,
and maintain a constant 98 degrees
Fahrenheit. Your MMF is therefore
capable of intense warming and is
great for situations of extreme chilliness
or discomfort. In addition, your MMF
is equipped with Partner Comfort
Sensitivity ™, and in the event that
your MMF cannot keep you
comfortable of it’s own means, will
seek other means, e.g: relinquishing
of jacket, seeking shelter, starting a
trash fire, etc.
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Chivalry: Your MMF is programmed with Windows Chivalmaster 2.01.7, a chivalry program centered around manners and sensitivity. Though the program is not without it’s faults, it will allow your MMF to perform important functions quickly and automatically such as opening doors, carrying heavy loads, driving, and paying automatically in any situation.
WARNING: Your MMF is not programmed with common sense, and will over-lift, strain and cause self injury and damage of parts/ego. In addition, your MMF will adjust personal budgeting to fit your needs and may overspend on occasion.
Entertainment: Your MMF is programmed with an Evolutionary Mainframe Technology ™, and will constantly self-improve and create. Your MMF is pre-programmed with a number of quips, jokes, ideas, and foolish behaviors to keep you entertained and will continue to create more as time passes. In addition, your behaviors in relation to your MMF’s actions will cause your MMF to adjust said actions to maximize pleasure and useage.
Attention: Your MMF is pre-programmed with Partner Emotion Alertness ™ and will spend much of it’s peripheral processes focused on your happiness and comfort, as such, it will be necessary for you to spend an equal amount of your thoughts on the comfort and happiness of your MMF. Your MMF will adjust to your particular level of need and act in kind, so you will never experience stifling, smothering, or lack of validation.
--Snuggle Mode ® : Your MMF is capable of the process called Snuggle Mode. In “snuggle mode” your MMF will emit increased amounts of body heat, adjust voice volume/intensity/inflection, and will become immensely capable of self disclosure. In addition, in snuggle mode, your MMF will actually be willing to watch movies that are considered to be “chick flicks” and may even shed a tear on occasion. Such behaviors should be accepted as normal or even ignored in order to avoid damage to primary ego circuits.
--Hand grasp action/PDA: Your MMF will, in most situations, attempt to perform the hand grasp action, in which he will hold onto your hand gently in an
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
attempt to establish bond, escort, or establish territorial markers. In the case of excessive Hand grasp activation, use emergency quick release located on back of neck. In addition, your MMF is equipped with PDA appropriateness sensibility, and will, in some circumstances perform the occasional act of PDA. In the event of the arrival and targeting of ex-boyfriends, jealous friends, or best friends, your MMF will increase it’s output of PDA. Similarly, in the presence of parents, family, employers, large groups, or in the event of an uncomfortable social situation, your MMF can adjust, lowering it’s output of PDA and even stopping altogether.
--Validation: Your MMF is equipped with the latest of sensitivity programming and listening skills that Windows technology has to offer. In all of its operations, your MMF will attempt to communicate freely/openly, share ideas, listen, and be mindful and aware of your emotions and moods. Your MMF may not perfectly match all of your moods all of the time with the appropriate responses right away, but in time will adapt to more efficiently perform the Validation function.
WARNING: Your MMF is not equipped with any version of Windows Mindread, or any Mindread technology. Please be aware that as such, your MMF will not be able to read thoughts. Failure to recognize this function may cause damage to primary ego circuits, emotion circuits, and even voiding of Warrantee.
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Internal Operations:
Your Multifunction Man-friend is programmed to have needs and wants just like any human being would. As such, after your MMF is activated, it will need varying amounts of attention, nourishment, etc. Your MMF will continue to function to it’s highest degree if these needs are met. Take care of your MMF and it will continue to surprise you and function to constantly increasing degrees of efficiency for years to come.
Attention Requirements:
Your Multifunction Man-friend will need some amounts of your time. Your MMF is able to adjust to meet your needs and will normally function above normal parameters with even the smallest amounts of time/attention. It is important that you call your MMF nearly once every day at least. In the event that you are unable to call, a text message will serve as a ready replacement. In the beginning, you need to spend at least a few hours, a few days a week with your MMF. The amount of attachment your MMF will exhibit towards you is in direct relation to the amount of time/attention you spend on your MMF.
Motive-Master 01N8-7:
Your Multifunction Man-friend is equipped with the Motive-Master 01N8-7. As such, your Multifunction Man-friend is not pre-programmed with internal motives out of the factory; rather your MMF will begin to create internal motives upon activation and will continue to adapt these motives in relation to your own. The Motive-Master technology does ensure that your MMF will seek to build a Long-term relationship out of any extraordinary Short-term relationship that exhibits certain qualities. Your MMF will, in addition, seek out your companionship and affinity to increasing degrees. For reference on your MMF’s motives for Physical Romantic relationships, please see the enclosed illustrated manual entitled Physical Romantic Relationship Functions for full explanations of functions and abilities.
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Regularly Scheduled Maintenance
Your Multifunction Man-friend will need regular fuel and maintenance in order to continue to function within normal parameters. If these needs are met, your MMF will continue to surprise and amaze you for years to come: however, failure to meet these needs may cause decreased performance, damage to parts/ ego circuits, and may void Warrantee.
Fuel Requirements: Your MMF is programmed
to be able to meet it’s own food-fuel needs and
sleep requirements. However, your MMF will adapt
it’s habits in regards to sleep and nourishment in
relation to your behaviors just like any other habit
already inherent in your MMF’s systems. Your
MMF model N8 may be prone
to somewhat excessive drinking/partying and smoking
These habits can be reduced and even stopped
given some time and effort.
WARNING: Your MMF is not programmed with common sense, as such, above listed behaviors, if bolstered, will continue to increase without bound, please be sure to adjust in kind to avoid any damage of parts or voiding of Warrantee.
Attention Requirements: Your Multifunction Man-friend will not only require emotional attention, but also physical attention (see enclosed Physical Romantic Relationship pamphlet for further details). Again, the amount of attention you give to your MMF will create an amount of attachment that is equivalent. It is difficult to outline the specific emotional attention your MMF will need from time to time, as your MMF is created to be as dynamic and complicated as any human. The physical attention necessary to keep your MMF running smoothly can be found in the enclosed pamphlet and also includes:
-hand hold
-PDA (where appropriate)
-conversing
-sharing
-time logged with your MMF
but is not limited to the above.
Time Away: Your MMF is programmed to function much like any normal human being, as such, it will require some decreasing amounts of time away from your interaction. Your MMF will seek to meet it’s sleep, work, school, and family needs as well as occasionally seeking to spend time with it’s “other friends”. It is best to allow these behaviors to take place to avoid any overloading of need circuitry as well as any ‘stifling’ or ‘smothering’ that may take place.
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Reccomendations for Safe Useage
Your Multifunction Man-friend will continue to hold up and perform after decades of usage given that it is not mistreated and any warning lights are met with appropriate actions. Physical damage of parts can often be self-repaired, while emotional damage of internal processes may take more time/effort on your part. It is recommended that you read through this section in it’s entirety in order to know how to handle your MMF’s varying needs.
Roughhousing
In the event of any roughhousing, or related tomfoolery, your MMF is equipped with Windows NT Holdbak Technology. Your MMF will never use anywhere above 20% of it’s normal strength and abilities in the case of any roughhousing or tomfoolery. In the event that your MMF were to cause any injury, your MMF will go into guilt mode and will begin to catering until sufficient amends are made. Such catering behaviors may include but are not limited to:
-kiss/ make better
-flowers
-favors
-concern/extreme guilt
-massage mode
Warning Indicators
In the event that your MMF’s needs go unmet or met insufficiently, your MMF will provide you with warning indicators. Physical and Emotional indicators can be easy to spot and easily remedied. Simply be sure to pay some amount of attention to your MMF in case it begins to display any of these indicators.
--Fatigue: Your Multifunction Man-friend may begin to, for one reason or another, exhibit signs of fatigue such as, altered posture/gait, swollen eyes, reduced performance, decreased humor, inability to remember, decreased verbosity, “Crankiness”, etc. it is important that once these signs are displayed that your MMF’s sleep and rest needs are met soon in order to avoid any further decrease in performance.
--Physical Illness: Your Multifunction Man-Friend is capable of contraction many illnesses just like any normal human being would and will display exactly the same symptoms. It is important that once these symptoms arise, that your MMF receives increased attention and is forced to rest. Your MMF will refuse to rest of it’s own accord
unless forced.
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
--Damaged Ego/Emotions: If you by neglect or action damage your MMF’s ego or emotion circuitry, your MMF is designed with the Intel Forgiveness Processor 2BT: however, this function will not work if an apology is not initiated or amends are not made. In such a case, your MMF will go into “Sulk Mode” and will display similar symptoms as outlined in the section labeled “Fatigue”. The longer your MMF is kept in “Sulk Mode” the worse symptoms will become and it may become more difficult to activate the Forgiveness Processor. For best results, it is recommended that the apology or amends process is initiated as soon as possible to avoid further damage to ego/ emotion circuits.
Multifunction Man-friend N1784 (N8)
Extended Warrantee Information
Your Multifunction Man-friend comes packaged with an extended lifetime warrantee. Under the Warrantee your MMF will continue to make self-repairs and will continue to function wonderfully. If you fail to meet your MMF’s needs for an extended or extreme period of time, your Warrantee may become null and void. For further information, contact Adco customer service at 1-859-mmf-adco ext. 158.
Automatic Voiding of Warrantee
If you choose to cheat on, stab, shoot, burn, run over or otherwise intentionally cause serious bodily harm to your Multifunction Man-friend beyond the ability to self-repair, your warrantee will become null and void and your MMF may refuse to return your calls or myspace messages.
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